Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found,
Was blind, but now I see
My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior, Has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercies reign,
Unending love, Amazing grace
I remember the first time I heard this song. It brought tears to my eyes. In high school, I was an active member of First Baptist Church in Elberton, Georgia. I was involved with everything... I song on the Sunday morning praise team, I was a member in the youth praise band, I was involved with all the youth activities.
One Sunday afternoon we, the youth praise band, were sitting my friend's living room brainstorming on a set list. One of the songs suggested was Chris Tomlin's My Chains are Gone. Wow, what a powerful song, what a powerful message . My chains are gone and I'VE been set free! It reaffirms that the power of Christ will free you from all darkness, through obedience. However, at the time, I was wrapped up in so much sin, living a double life, constantly lying to people. I would be leading songs in church services. I would telling people to live for God, and behind the scenes, I was sneaking out of the house, going to parties, smoke weed, fornicating . . . I was a complete mess.
I can't really describe exactly how I felt, there was a strong since that I was being held down by my sin. I couldn't see straight, I couldn't breathe. I had no control. It felt as if I were literally chained down, bound. I couldn't get away. I couldn't run away. I was always dragged back. I was stuck . . . I was scared. I was lonely. I was too prideful to admit I was in trouble. But for a small moment in my life, I felt relief. I felt hope, refuge, strength. But it didn't last. I sabotaged my progress. I relapsed, hard.
It took a couple of years for me to come back around. But I finally did. I enrolled into a rehabilitation center in Woodstock, Georgia, where I spent four and a half gruesome months sifting through my past and confronting things I've hidden all my life. With Christ, I was breaking away from my bondage, I was destroying those chains what held me down for so long. I was released! Or so I thought .
Unfortunately, rehab only scratched the surface. There was so much that I was holding back, keeping it a secret because I was so ashamed. I had so much guilt, I didn't want anyone to know everything about my life. I withheld some crucial parts of my life to myself. When I was a child, I was sexually abused. I was very young, no older than seven. I was forced to do things and swore to keep it a secret. That is my deep dark secret. But you know what, I don't care if people know anymore. I don't care if people judge me for it. I don't care if people think less of me. I was a child. It wasn't my fault. And if it happened to you, know this . . . it is NOT your fault! You didn't know any better . . . you couldn't fend for yourself. You could fight back. You couldn't have known it was wrong. I didn't. I was told that it was normal. That it happens to everybody. What lies, what deception.
But that's a whole different story. The point of my telling you, the world, my dark secret is to tell you that secrets are NOT healthy. Especially if you have to care it yourself. Secrets are a false safety net created by the devil. Secrets keep you in the dark. Secrets feed on your fear and your insecurity. They drain your life. They drain you self-worth. Secrets can be the strongest chain the devil has on you. So, I challenge you to find someone who you trust, someone who without a doubt will keep things confidential. Seek that man or woman out and tell them what is going on in your life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We all need that special someone who we can confide in, mine in my fiancé, Alexandria. She knows everything about me, I know I can tell her everything and it will be kept between the two of us. Life is to hard to do it alone. Life gives you a heavy load to be caring it around solo. Voice your hurts, your pains, your joys. Don't be afraid to walk next to someone. It will make life much easier.
In conclusion to my long winded rambling, I leave you with this . . . a video I was introduced to several years ago. Listen to it, watch it (it's in the previous post) . . . it has a powerful message behind it.
Until next time, God bless you all!
Lucas
One Sunday afternoon we, the youth praise band, were sitting my friend's living room brainstorming on a set list. One of the songs suggested was Chris Tomlin's My Chains are Gone. Wow, what a powerful song, what a powerful message . My chains are gone and I'VE been set free! It reaffirms that the power of Christ will free you from all darkness, through obedience. However, at the time, I was wrapped up in so much sin, living a double life, constantly lying to people. I would be leading songs in church services. I would telling people to live for God, and behind the scenes, I was sneaking out of the house, going to parties, smoke weed, fornicating . . . I was a complete mess.
I can't really describe exactly how I felt, there was a strong since that I was being held down by my sin. I couldn't see straight, I couldn't breathe. I had no control. It felt as if I were literally chained down, bound. I couldn't get away. I couldn't run away. I was always dragged back. I was stuck . . . I was scared. I was lonely. I was too prideful to admit I was in trouble. But for a small moment in my life, I felt relief. I felt hope, refuge, strength. But it didn't last. I sabotaged my progress. I relapsed, hard.
It took a couple of years for me to come back around. But I finally did. I enrolled into a rehabilitation center in Woodstock, Georgia, where I spent four and a half gruesome months sifting through my past and confronting things I've hidden all my life. With Christ, I was breaking away from my bondage, I was destroying those chains what held me down for so long. I was released! Or so I thought .
Unfortunately, rehab only scratched the surface. There was so much that I was holding back, keeping it a secret because I was so ashamed. I had so much guilt, I didn't want anyone to know everything about my life. I withheld some crucial parts of my life to myself. When I was a child, I was sexually abused. I was very young, no older than seven. I was forced to do things and swore to keep it a secret. That is my deep dark secret. But you know what, I don't care if people know anymore. I don't care if people judge me for it. I don't care if people think less of me. I was a child. It wasn't my fault. And if it happened to you, know this . . . it is NOT your fault! You didn't know any better . . . you couldn't fend for yourself. You could fight back. You couldn't have known it was wrong. I didn't. I was told that it was normal. That it happens to everybody. What lies, what deception.
But that's a whole different story. The point of my telling you, the world, my dark secret is to tell you that secrets are NOT healthy. Especially if you have to care it yourself. Secrets are a false safety net created by the devil. Secrets keep you in the dark. Secrets feed on your fear and your insecurity. They drain your life. They drain you self-worth. Secrets can be the strongest chain the devil has on you. So, I challenge you to find someone who you trust, someone who without a doubt will keep things confidential. Seek that man or woman out and tell them what is going on in your life. The good, the bad, and the ugly. We all need that special someone who we can confide in, mine in my fiancé, Alexandria. She knows everything about me, I know I can tell her everything and it will be kept between the two of us. Life is to hard to do it alone. Life gives you a heavy load to be caring it around solo. Voice your hurts, your pains, your joys. Don't be afraid to walk next to someone. It will make life much easier.
In conclusion to my long winded rambling, I leave you with this . . . a video I was introduced to several years ago. Listen to it, watch it (it's in the previous post) . . . it has a powerful message behind it.
Until next time, God bless you all!
Lucas
You never cease to amaze me. I am so, so proud of you. Satan has flung so much poo at you since you were born and still, you haven't given up. And I'm so, so glad. You're a great, godly man and I am honored to be your constant. I can't wait to share your name and your bed and your life. =P I love you, Boy.
ReplyDeleteLucas, I love you even more! What a testimony you have that will reasonate with so many young people! Can't wait to see what God is going to do next in your life!
ReplyDelete<3
ReplyDelete